addiction
by TheCatWithTheHat
Summary: He was the one thing she always wanted, the one thing always out of her reach. And then she met -him-. IchiHime UlquiHime Rating HAS BEEN changed for a reason ...Dark
1. He Was

**A/N: Hey. I got the idea for this story and it just wouldn't leave me. So tell me what you think. :) I usually don't write anything with anything other than Ichihime, so bear with me if it's not perfect. It'll probably be a combination of Ichihime and Ulquihime. Again, bear with me.**

**Disclaimer: All bleach characters and property belong to Tite Kubo and Viz Media.**

**H**e Was

everything

she wanted

everything

she needed

everything

she could never have

He was

_I'll protect you_

in the dark

_I'll protect you_

in the light

_I'll protect you_

in the pain

Ichigo was

her hero

her savior

her one forbidden object

always

out

of

her

**reach.**

He was

the one thing

she always wanted

the one thing

she always wanted

the one thing

always

out

of

her

**reach.**

And then she met

**_him._**


	2. But He Was

**Addiction Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Sorry the chapters are so short. **

**B**ut He Was

nothing

she'd ever wanted

nothing

she'd ever needed

nothing

she'd ever dreamed of having

He was

_I'll kill you_

in the dark

_I'll kill you_

in the light

_I'll kill you_

in the suffering

Ulquiorra was

her villain

her nightmare

her one dark dream

but never

out

of

her

**reach.**

He was

the one thing

she'd never wanted

the one thing

she'd never wanted

the one thing

never

out

of

her

**reach.**

But then she realized

that

what

she

wanted

was

him

.


	3. They Were As Different

**Addiction Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Sorry the chapters are so short. **

**T**hey Were As Different

as night and day.  
>As chocolate and vanilla.<br>As black and white.  
>As good and evil.<br>As right and  
><em>wrong.<em>

Her two boys were  
>so very<br>different it was  
>almost funny.<br>_Almost_ being  
>the key word<br>there.

She could feel the

_addiction  
><em>sucking,  
>pulling,<br>poking,  
>tugging,<br>scratching

at her.

It was almost unbearable.

_Almost  
><em>being the key  
>word there<br>again  
>.<p>

Ichigo and Ulquiorra –  
>well.<p>

There really wasn't  
>a way to<br>describe  
>them.<p>

One very much alive  
>One very much dead<br>was the best thing  
>she could do<br>in her fevered state  
>of lovesick<br>mind.

Between the sheets now,  
>red numbers beside her<br>proclaiming  
>ungodly<br>hours

it doesn't  
>seem to matter<br>which.  
>Both are gods.<br>Neither will be up  
>at this ungodly<br>hour.

_Ungodly._

It's funny when  
>she thinks<br>about it.

She's the most  
>ungodly<br>thing she's ever  
>met.<p>

And here she is,  
>trying to decide<br>between  
>her<br>two  
>gods<br>.


	4. Despite the Aforementioned

**Addiction Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.**

**D**espite the Aforementioned

ungodly hour,  
>Ulquiorra came to<br>see her.  
>He didn't say<p>

much.  
>Words hung between<br>the two  
>of them like<p>

droplets of water  
>on a trembling leaf.<br>He knew what  
>he had<p>

done: i.e.,  
>kidnapped her,<br>taken her to this  
>God-awful<p>

desert world,  
>taken her away<br>from her life  
>worth<p>

living, forced  
>her to eat his food<br>and sleep when he  
>chose. But<p>

not with him.  
>Not in that sense.<br>Ulquiorra  
>was not<p>

vulgar like  
>that.<p>

At least, not

most of the time,  
>he wasn't.<br>But she knew  
>what lay behind<p>

those emerald-green  
>eyes.<br>Ulquiorra wanted  
>her.<p>

But he never asked,  
>not knowing<br>that if he had,  
>she would have given<p>

herself up willingly  
>for him.<br>Even just seeing  
>his face made<p>

her part feverish;  
>sweaty and clammy,<br>tense, excited,  
>all rolled<p>

into one. But with  
>that also came<br>guilt; her sweet  
>strawberry<p>

flashing behind  
>her eyelids.<br>But Ichigo  
>wasn't here.<p>

What he didn't  
>know<br>wouldn't hurt  
>him.<p> 


	5. At Least

**Chapter 5**

**A**t least

that's what  
>I thought.<br>Ulquiorra wasn't  
>exactly what I'd<br>call _nice_. He  
>just wasn't <em>mean<em>  
>like the rest of<br>them. So I thought  
>I might<p>

willingly give up my body

if that's what  
>he wanted.<p>

There was just  
>something about<br>him that seemed  
><em>dangerous<em>,  
>in a way I<br>never felt with  
>my Ichigo.<br>It wasn't like

me and Ichigo were dating.

I was single  
>and I thought<br>I was in love.

And this was  
>Ulquiorra.<br>Who would have  
>said <em>no<em>?


	6. How It Happened

**Chapter 6**

**H**ow It Happened 

Anyway, me and Ulquiorra were in my  
>room, and he just asked if there was<br>anything I needed. I said _no_  
>. And for some reason, I<br>asked if there was any-  
>thing <em>he<em> needed.  
>Or wanted.<br>Anything  
>at all<br>.

He went all quiet for a moment and I  
>started to wonder if I had crossed<br>some sort of line-I was a pris-  
>oner, after all. But then he<br>opened his mouth, the  
>white and black lips<br>forming a perfect  
>circle as he<br>said :  
><em>You.<em>

Well, you know me-the first thing I did was  
>blush so hard I would have shamed<br>a strawberry. (Don't think about  
>it.) I kind of stammered, <em>M-<br>me?_ and he looked me in  
>the eyes and said, <em>Yes.<br>You. Do you think  
>I am lying,<br>girl  
>?<em>

You better believe I said, _No, master Ulquiorra.  
>I don't think you're lying. <em>And if you  
>can even picture it, a sort of smug<br>little grin came over his pale  
>face, and he said <em>Good.<em>

And in the next  
>second, he<br>kissed  
>me. <p>


	7. He Didn't Ask

**Chapter 7**

**H**e Didn't Ask

At all.  
>Didn't care what<br>I wanted. He  
>just<p>

took.

He tasted like  
>green grapes;<br>the fresh ones,  
>the<p>

cold

ones, the  
>ones that<br>crunch between  
>your<p>

teeth

and fill your  
>mouth with<br>that slightly  
>sour<p>

flavor.

He tasted just  
>like that, with<br>that fresh  
>little<p>

zing

that I honestly  
>didn't expect<br>from a dead  
>man<p>

like him.

Right away, I  
>felt his tongue<br>at my lips and  
>thought,<p>

_Why not?_

So I opened  
>up, like I<br>was at the  
>dentist.<p>

I

was a good  
>patient, too-I<br>followed his  
>orders, said<p>

_Ahh_

when he  
>told me<br>to. His  
>tongue<p>

explored

every ridge  
>in my mouth<br>while his hand  
>explored my<p>

waistline.

I tried to ignore  
><em>that<em> hand,  
>focusing instead<br>on the one

in my hair,

running my own  
>hand through his<br>silky strands and  
>over his<p>

helmet.

Bone white,  
>smooth,<br>colder than I  
>had<p>

imagined.

I was so focused  
>on that stuff that<br>I didn't notice his  
>hand<p>

inside my shirt.

It was going  
>fast up my<br>tummy, getting way  
>too<p>

close

to my  
>feminine<br>appendages. I had  
>to<p>

unlock our lips

to tell him  
>to please stop.<br>It was going  
>far<p>

too fast

for little  
>ol' me.<br>His hand  
>stopped,<p>

hesitated,

considered  
>my request.<br>Slowly, his  
>arm slid from<p>

underneath

my school  
>uniform, the<br>white looking  
>very<p>

alienated

against the  
>beige. <em>Fine,<br>_he said, _this  
>time.<em>

_But_

_next time, I  
>might not be<br>as nice._ I  
>looked<p>

into

his face-_maybe  
>he's joking?-<br>_and found no  
>sign or<p>

indication

that he was.  
>He gave me<br>one last kiss  
>and said<p>

_Goodnight_

before he  
>slipped quietly<br>out of the  
>room.<p> 


	8. The Next Day

**Chapter 8**

**T**he Next Day

Was awkward, to say the least. I didn't really know

what to expect.

Would Ulquiorra now ignore me, toss me aside for

turning him down?

I really hoped not. Because even though he had basically

molested me, I

had kind of let him. [Oops.] But when he walked in, it

was completely

_not_ what I had been expecting. He was holding a white

uniform that

looked a little like the one he himself was wearing. I

mean, white with

hints of black here and there. It was draped over his arm,

and when he

shut the door behind him, and I knew we were alone and

no one was

going to walk in or disturb us, my heart started racing and

I felt lightheaded.

"What's that?" I managed to get past my swollen tongue. He

gave me a

_look._ This _look_ wasn't special in any way since as far as I

could gather, he

had about one facial expression. He held up the uniform. _Lord_

_Aizen wishes you_

_to wear this,_ he said to me. _As a part of your new life here, you _

_have been asked_

_to dress similarly to the Arrancar that inhabit Hueco Mundo._

Even as he

said it, I knew I hadn't been asked by Aizen. I'd been commanded.

And Aizen's orders

had to be followed. That didn't stop me from looking longingly

at my school

uniform – I never thought I'd say this, but I didn't want to give

it up. "What

about my uniform?" I dared to ask. I imagined that if Ulquiorra

had the physical

ability to screw up his face in disgust, he would do it. _Give it_

_to me,_ he

ordered. _It will be disposed of accordingly. _For some reason, I

felt myself

blinking back tears. I shook my head and sighed, holding my hands

out for the

uniform. "Then can I please put it on?" I said, but he made no

move to give

it to me. _Get undressed first, and then I'll hand you the_

_garment._ I knit

my brows. [Surely he didn't just say that.] "W-what?" I

stammer, and

those green eyes bore into me. _Surely you heard me. The_

_instruction was_

_not a difficult one. _I swallowed hard and dropped my gaze,

lowering my

hands to my waistline and grasping the hem of my sweater

vest and pulling

it slowly over my head. It landed in a heap on the floor. Next

my fingers

went to the red bow at my neck, picking at the knot; finally

it slithered free

and fell down my body like a scarlet snake. I lowered my

hands to the

buttons on my shirt, but my fingers were shaking so badly

I could barely

grasp the slick surfaces. _Do you need help?_ he asked me,

his voice almost

snide. But I shook my head quickly, keeping my face hidden.

A tear slid

down my cheek; my hands were shaking even harder now.

[Would Ichigo

do this?] Of course not. Ichigo was gentle, he was respectful.

Again, the

exact opposite of Ulquiorra, who held respect for no one –

with the possible

exception of Aizen. Finally my hands found the last button

and slipped it

from its confinement. I slowly slid the white fabric from

my shoulders,

hating the way my bra pushed my breasts together, hating

how big and

magnetizing they were, hating the way that Ulquiorra's eyes

were drawn to

the magnet. The material slid from my fingertips and when

it hit the

floor I looked up at Ulquiorra. He glanced at me, his gaze

burning. He

held my gaze, though; not looking down until more noise

grabbed his

attention. I fumbled with the zipper on the side of my gray

skirt, pulling

it down shakily, yanking it when it got snagged. I let it fall

and stepped out

of it, feeling ridiculous in my socks, shoes, and underwear. I

quickly scraped

my shoes from my feet, bending down to roll off my socks.

When I stood,

I clutched my arms around myself, curling my bare toes

over and over.

"May I…" I choked and restarted. "May I have my clothes

now?" I

whimpered a little, feeling my hair dancing across my back.

He nodded and

stepped forward, giving me the outfit. Somehow I found

the opening

and raised a foot to step inside, but hesitated. I glanced

at him, and

immediately regretted it. His gaze was burning again, staring

at my face,

then at my body. I realized too late that I was giving him

full access to

my cleavage and hopped quickly into the dress, which I

soon discovered

was just a pair of very loose pants and there was a whole

'nother top part.

I slipped this on also, letting myself relax a little now that

I was decently

covered. I then put on the belt, socks, sandals; yada, yada. I

looked back at

Ulquiorra when I had finished, watching the fire in his eyes

freeze just like

someone had doused it in water. "How do I look?" I asked,

smoothing the

skirt/pants. _Like an Espada,_ he said, then paused. I waited for

the add-on

that I knew was coming. And I was right. _But I liked you_

_better without_

_it._ I frowned. "You like my World of the Living clothes?" I

asked, confused.

He shook his head. _No. _And just like that, he was gone. I stared,

confused, after

him, my emotions roiling like thunderclouds beneath my

skin. Because

even though he'd almost forced me to strip naked for his own

twisted reasons,

I still couldn't hate him. I did still love Ichigo. My heart

began aching

whenever I allowed my thoughts to dwell on him. But there

was just something

about Ulquiorra; and beneath his dark, almost perverse ways,

I was beginning

to think that…maybe I loved Ulquiorra as well as Ichigo.


	9. Love Happens, Hate Happens

**Chapter 9**

**Warning: OOCness Ahead**

**L**ove Happens, Hate Happens

When he came again the next day, I

knew I was in trouble. His

eyes blazed; they

were the only part of him that gave away the fury in his heart. He

allowed the door to slam closed behind him, not

letting it fall from his pale fingertips like he usually did. I

gulped and felt my feet root to the floor, uncertain

of whether to go to him or run away as fast as I could. "Ulquiorra?" I

said uncertainly. "What's

wrong?" The

fury increased; emerald

flames burning brighter than ever before. _They're _

_here, _he

said. I

didn't understand. "Who's

here?" I

asked. This

just made him angrier. _Don't _

_play dumb with me, woman. I_

_know you planned this._ My

eyes filled with tears. "I

don't understand. Who's

here, Ulquiorra?" He

looked me in the eye. _Kurosaki_

_Ichigo,_ he

finally said, and

then he was on me like a disease, his

hands ripping at my uniform, his

fingers ripping the soft white fabric. I

was so shocked that all I did was struggle for a moment. Then

I came to my senses. "What

are you doing?" I cried. "Ulquiorra! Stop!" But

he didn't stop. His

pale hands had my clothes off in seconds. I

lay there, completely

naked in front of him, my

hands attempting to cover the bits I didn't want him to see. He

eyed me like I was a rare cheese. _I'll _

_make you mine before he can_, he

said, not

sounding like himself at all. Then

the meaning of his words hit home. "What? You

wouldn't..." But

he apparently would. The

words were barely out of my mouth before his uniform was on the floor, and

he stood before me in all his pale glory. I'd

never seen a naked man before. And

I was going to keep my record clean,

if I could help it. I

squeezed my eyes closed, tears

bubbling on the surface. _Look_

_at me!_ he

commanded, but

didn't give me a chance before his hands were on my chest, pushing

me back. My

legs hit the edge of the couch and I fell on my back. Terror

was evident in my face, and

this served to fuel Ulquiorra's anger. His

eyes were a green bonfire, raking

up and down my body. And

I'll admit, had

he done it differently, I

might have enjoyed it. But

this was Ulquiorra. Nothing

was gentle. Instead of enjoying it, I

froze as he pushed inside. [There

it is. Oh, my

God, there

it goes.] I'd

learned about anatomy in school, and

I knew what that thing was inside me that he'd just destroyed. It

was something that would never heal; something

I'd never get back. Tears

ran freely down my face now as he sweated and worked over me. I

cried silently, trying

to hold it in. But

it was too much. The

tears came anyway. And

it took him far too long to finish. When

he was done, he

sat up, wiping

his sweat-covered forehead, still

angry. It

took him about two seconds to wipe my blood off - onto

my covers, I

might add - and

slip on his uniform again. _I'd _

_like to be there when Kurosaki finds that_, he

muttered to himself, his

hands working feverishly on his uniform. _That_

_will teach him to defy Lord Aizen._ He

glanced at me, his

eyes showing disgust for my weak and trembling form. _I _

_hope you enjoyed that,_ he

said, and

left the room.


	10. Rape

**Chapter 10**

**R**ape

How many times had I been told about it? Way  
>too many, that was for sure. I had had a sit down<br>talk with Sora a little before he died. It wasn't  
>awkward at all. People talk about the "sex talk"<br>with their parents being awkward. But with Sora  
>it wasn't. He just told me that I needed to watch<br>out for scary guys who might want to do things to  
>me. I was so grateful at the time that I had someone<br>to watch out for me like my brother that I promised  
>him right away that I would. But for some reason,<br>when I came here, I somehow forgot that and let

Ulquiorra

just walk in and…take me. I felt disgusting. Sora had  
>known – stay away from scary guys. Didn't Ulquiorra<br>qualify as "scary"? Yes, of course he did! He was the  
>scariest guy I had ever met. Was his sexual appeal so<br>much that I just couldn't keep away? Was my willpower  
>really that weak? Or was it something else? Did I <em>let<em> him  
>do it? Was <em>I<em> really that weak? Why _did_ he do it, anyway?  
>Was I just raped for <em>revenge<em>? No, couldn't be…could it?  
>I couldn't even fathom that. Did he do it out of anger? Did<br>someone say something to him that set him off? What  
>was he trying to prove? Because no girl – no <em>being<em>

deserves

to be violated in that way. That's what he had done – he  
>had violated me, violated my body, my mind, my <em>soul<em> –  
>and he was going to get away with it. And that was the<br>biggest thing – Ulquiorra wouldn't pay for what he had  
>done to me. He was an Arrancar, for Kami's sake. And not<br>only that, but he was an Espada – the _cuarto Espada_. Did  
>he think it was some kind of <em>honor<em> to get "treated" by  
>someone as powerful as him? Did he think that I was glad<br>or grateful? Honored that he was the one to take my innocence?  
>If this was the case, I would be happy to set him straight. I<br>was not honored. I was not happy or pleased that I'd been used

to

please that disgusting man. What I was, was angry –  
>no, not even that. I was shocked. Not at his behavior,<br>I should have expected that from a powerful being  
>like him. I was shocked that I could ever have loved<br>him. I had the perfect man in front of me – my Ichigo.  
>I just got so tired of waiting for him. I felt like a<br>flower that someone had picked the petals off of –  
><em>he loves me, he loves me not<em> style – and then left  
>on the ground, petals scattered and stem browning,<br>waiting for the wind to come around so that I could

die.


	11. I'll Admit

**Chapter 11**

**I**'ll Admit

I was terrified.  
>Terrified of what<br>Ulquiorra would  
>do when he<br>came again. So

when the door  
>opens again,<br>the next day,  
>fear constricts<br>in my chest. Is

it _him?_ Please,  
>Kami, no. Anything<br>but Ulquiorra  
>again. I curl up<br>and cower in the

corner, watching  
>the door with fear<br>filled eyes. But  
>to my relief, it's<br>not the cold man

standing there.  
>Instead, the vicious,<br>blue-haired one -  
>Grimmjow Jeager-<br>jaques - stands in

his place. Relieved,  
>I stand up, my legs<br>still trembling in  
>fear, and bow<br>before the sexta

Espada. "Good  
>day, sir," I say<br>to him, nodding  
>my head. His<br>laugh startles

me, and I lift  
>my head in<br>surprise. He  
>takes two quick<br>steps towards me,

and I shrink back  
>a little bit as he<br>reaches out his  
>hand. <em>Glad I'm<br>not him? Your _

_happiness is  
>short-lived,<br>sweetheart_.  
>Great. I get<br>ready to

run away, to  
>do anything<br>to stop him from  
>doing what HE<br>did - but then

the door flies  
>open. I'm expecting<br>Ulquiorra, but to  
>my surprise, he isn't<br>coming to join.

Instead, I see Ichigo.


	12. Grimmjow

**Chapter 12**

**G**rimmjow

Looked shocked, to say the least. His blue eyes widened in shock  
>and – was it fear? No, couldn't be. Grimmjow, scared of<br>Ichigo? Did those words even go together in the  
>same sentence? I didn't think so. Anyway,<br>Grimmjow, my would-be tormentor,  
>had been stopped by Ichigo. I<br>was so happy to see my  
>sweet strawberry<br>that tears  
>sprang<br>to  
>my<br>eyes.  
>"Ichigo!" I<br>exclaimed. His  
>face looked intense in<br>concentration; his chocolate-  
>brown eyes narrowed with focus and<br>determination. _Kuro…saki?_ Grimmjow  
>managed. <em>Kurosaki?<em> How many more times  
>was he going to say it? As soon as I thought that, I in-<br>stantly felt bad. [Be nice, Orihime,] I scolded myself, then  
>thought, [Oops. Maybe I should pay attention.] I aimed<br>my attention back at the two men standing in front  
>of me. [Tee hee. Their hair is complimentary<br>colors.] For the first time, Ichigo's focus  
>seemed to slip; he looked slightly<br>confused. _Wait. Grimmjow?  
>I thought that Ulquiorra<br>was the one who was  
>taking care of<br>Inoue?_ Just  
>like<br>that,  
>Grimmjow<br>was back in con-  
>trol. He sneered. <em>Yeah,<br>he was. He misbehaved. He  
>asked me if I wanted to visit the<br>human today. He thought he should  
>probably stay away from her.<em> He looked  
>superior. Ichigo's expression twisted in shock.<br>_What? What did you bastards to Inoue?_ Grimmjow  
>snorted. <em>Wouldn't you like to know. Let's just say you'll<br>find it…later._ Ichigo's face morphed into a mask of  
>rage and anger. <em>BASTARD! <em>he shouted, whipping  
>out Zangetsu. <em>BAN! KAI! <em>Reatsu swirled out  
>around him, making a black cloud storm<br>- but instead of staying to fight the  
>sexta, I felt his strong arm at my<br>waist. _Let's go, Inoue, _he  
>murmured in my ear.<br>_I'll take care of  
>that mother<br>later.  
>Right now,<br>we need to get  
>you safely home.<em> My  
>eyes filled with more tears;<br>they ran freely down my cheeks.  
>I knew how much Ichigo's pride must<br>be suffering now; to have Grimmjow in his  
>sights, almost able to kill him; but if the burst of<br>reatsu disappeared, we'd never make an escape and he  
>would get caught in a fight that he might not be able to win.<br>So I just laid my head against his shoulder and cried as we sped home.


	13. Home At Last

**Chapter 13**

**H**ome At Last**  
><strong>

When we get home, I

allow myself to cry

for a little bit. Ichigo

takes me home to my

place, sitting with me

while I cry into his chest.

Thank

Kami he doesn't mind. He

just holds me tight and

tries to comfort me, but

I'm pretty much sobbing

to hard to even hear

him. I was surprised;

you

could tell how many

things he was itching

to do - go kill some

Espada, call around

and tell everyone that

I was ok, but I was thankful

for

his stillness and

steady presence,

just sitting on my

couch. Looking

back, I think that

was the key in

saving

me: if I hadn't had

that anchor when

I had gotten home,

I would have crumbled

into not a whole,

but empty pieces of

me.

And who knows

what would have

happened then.

One phrase kept

lingering in my

mind - something that

I

had heard both

the cuarta (not

saying his name)

and Grimmjow say:

You'll find it...

later. I definitely

love

Ichigo, but were

they implying

that we were going

to...but no. Why

would they think

that? It gives

you

the shivers, makes

you wonder. [Can

they read my mind?]

Another sob wells up.

Ichigo holds me, and I

finally say it. "I love you,

Ichigo."


	14. That Gets His Attention

**Chapter 14**

**T**hat Gets His Attention

His hands still in their movement

on my back; he holds me  
>gingerly, like I'm a bomb that<p>

will explode if he's not careful.  
><em>What?<em> he whispers, sounding  
>like he can't quite believe his<p>

ears. _What did you say, Inoue? _I  
>take a deep breath, trying to force<p>

the words through my grateful

tears. "I said I love you, Ichigo.  
>I always have and I probably<p>

always will." I hold my breath,  
>afraid of what he'll say. Afraid<br>he'll reject me – after all, I am

broken beyond repair. [He doesn't  
>know that.] All my thought processes<p>

still when his arms close tightly

around my body. _You do? _he says  
>disbelievingly. <em>You do? Please<em>

_say you're not screwing with me,  
>Inoue. <em>I shake my head, my eyes  
>still closed. "I'm not. I promise."<p>

There's a moment of silence, which  
>he breaks. <em>Orihime.<em> Surprised by the

use of my first name, I turn to

look at him, lifting my head, eyes  
>wide. I'm about to ask him<p>

why he called me that, since  
>he's never done it before, when<br>he kissed me.

On  
>any<br>other  
>day<p>

I would have loved it.

In  
>any<br>other  
>circumstance<p>

I would have kissed back.

But  
>all<br>I  
>saw<p>

when I closed my eyes

was  
>him.<p>

Ulquiorra.

_I hope you enjoyed that._

His  
>hand<br>in  
>my<br>shirt.

_He tasted like grapes; the fresh ones, the _cold_ ones._

His  
>eyes<br>on  
>my<br>body.

_I liked you better without them._

Him,  
><em>inside<br>me._

_I hope you enjoyed that._

_I  
>hope<br>you  
>enjoyed<br>that  
>.<em>

I couldn't kiss Ichigo

when  
>all<br>I  
>could<br>taste

was the zing of cold grapes

when  
>all<br>I  
>could<br>feel

was the cold bone helmet

when  
>all<br>I  
>could<br>see

were his eyes

p

e

n

e

t

r

a

t

i

n

g

me.

I broke away with a gasp

and

ran

.


	15. I Didn't Mean It, But

**Chapter 15**

**I **Didn't Mean It, But

Sensing Ichigo's confusion behind me only made me want to run faster. I  
>couldn't let him see me like this, couldn't let him see me cry. I couldn't let<br>him know what had happened. There was no way. No way never. Only my  
>heart could ever know about it, no matter how much I want to forget.<p>

_Orihime!_

My name falls so easily from his lips. I can imagine him springing off the  
>couch, already human, not bothering to put on shoes. He wrenches open<br>the door and thunders down my apartment steps barefoot, leaving the  
>door swinging as he rips the skin on his feet open on the rough street.<p>

_Orihime, wait!_

I can't stop running away. Why am I running away from Ichigo? My white  
>dress slows me down, and I peel off layers until I'm in the very bottom<br>underdress, leaving scraps of cloth in the street. The white silky cloth  
>slips around my knees as my feet - also bare - pound the street in time.<p>

_Orihime! Wait up! Hey, what's wrong?_

Tears burn my eyes, pushed back by the wind before they can pass my  
>cheekbones. Nose running, eyes red, I run and run away from him, my<br>hair twirling behind me. I spy the bridge coming up, and sprint over the  
>grass leading to the riverbank, hearing his yelling increase in volume.<p>

_Orihime! Wait! Don't jump!_

Silly boy. I'm not going to jump. I dive behind the bridge, my chest  
>heaving, bra slightly visible through the silkiness. I drop my head into my<br>hands and cry hard, keeping my tears silent. It doesn't take him long to  
>find me: I hear his footsteps on the stone behind me as he approaches.<p>

_Orihime, what's wrong? Tell me. What did I do?_

I shake my head, crying too hard to talk. He sits next to me and puts his  
>hand on my shoulder, holding me close. My toes curl in pleasure despite<br>myself when he begins to rub my upper arms, waiting patiently for me to  
>find myself and tell him why I ran from his kisses, why I ran from his love.<p> 


	16. Easy

**Chapter 16**

**E**asy

It's easy to start when I find the words, but it's the finding of words that's  
>hard. I can't seem to say it, can't tell him what Ulquiorra did - what I let<br>him do, what I let him take. I struggle for a few moments, not wanting his  
>hand to still on<br>my shoulder, not  
>wanting judgment<br>to cloud his vision  
>of me, of who I<br>really was under  
>my impurity. He<br>didn't rush me,  
>just waited until<br>I could find the  
>words to tell<br>him. So I  
>looked at our<br>feet, bare together,  
>and told him<br>everything.  
>"Ulquiorra...he was attractive. He k-kissed me a couple times..." oh, god -<br>of course I was blushing. My toes flexed. "Then when he - he found out  
>you were coming to get me... H-he got angry. He...he was really mad..."<br>_What did he do?_ Ichigo sounded patient, but at the same time, a little  
>worried.<br>_Orihime, tell me _  
><em>what he did to<em>  
><em>you. <em>I drew  
>a shuddering<br>breath. "I don't  
>want you to<br>think badly of  
>me," I said<br>quietly, and  
>he gripped<br>my arm. _I _  
><em>promise I won't,<em>  
>he said. <em>Now tell<em>  
><em>me what he did.<em>  
>I took a deep<br>breath. Well, he  
>asked for it. "H-<br>he...he...he..." I  
>struggled to find<br>the right word -  
>Rape didn't fit<br>in my mouth.  
>"Ulquiorra...<br>he raped me."  
>There was dead silence between us. Ichigo's breathing was shallow; his<br>fingers were gripping my arm so tightly it almost hurt. He put a hand on  
>my chin and turned my head towards his. His eyes were serious -<br>more serious than I'd ever seen, and I couldn't tear my gaze away from them.

_You're not kidding, are you. _

I shook my head. "No."

He struggled to draw breath. _He...he..._

Ichigo stood up.

_That bastard is dead,_ he said, and was gone.


	17. A Week

**Chapter 17**

**A **Week

Went by. A  
>long and<br>horrible week.

So

long that it  
>made me<br>wonder

when

Ichigo would  
>be home. I was<br>sure he

would

be home,  
>right? He had<br>to be.

Ichigo

knew that  
>going after<br>Ulquiorra would

be

stupid, right? The  
>cuarta was stronger.<br>Why wasn't he

home?

Had he gone  
>after Ulquiorra<br>after all?

He

_was_ intelligent,  
>most of the time,<br>and he

wasn't

_ever_ stupid. He  
>would never go for<br>revenge and end up

dead,

so why was I  
>worrying? I<br>told myself I

was

just paranoid, but  
>if I was, then<br>where was

he?


	18. I Was Starting To Get Desperate

**Chapter 18**

**I** Was Starting To Get Desperate

The only thing that  
>was preventing me<br>from going to Urahara  
>was Ichigo's pride.<p>

Suddenly

that didn't seem so  
>important anymore.<br>Was his pride or his life  
>more important? This was<p>

the

question I pondered  
>that whole week, the<br>overcast week, the week  
>I would remember as<p>

clouds

week because he was  
>gone. So I decided: I would<br>talk to Urahara. But as  
>soon as that thought<p>

rolled

into my mind, there was  
>a knock on my door. I looked<br>out my window: rain was  
>pouring down. I'd want to get<p>

out

of that weather, too. I  
>plodded to the door and<br>opened it, ready to  
>welcome some traveler in<p>

from

the rain. But it wasn't  
>an ordinary traveler. His<br>hair was wet, his clothes  
>plastered to his body;<p>

the

eyes I'd missed so much  
>were locked on me, and<br>a small smile graced his  
>lips. The sun dawned on my<p>

horizon,

the day broke, life came  
>back fresh, anew; birds<br>called to each other,  
>flowers bloomed,<p>

and

my world was complete.  
>"Ichigo…?" I looked at<br>his soaked and shivering  
>form. "Where were you for<p>

the

past week?" I asked him  
>in surprise, and then<br>remembered the rain  
>he was standing in. "Oh! The<p>

sun

isn't exactly shining out  
>there. Come in!" I stepped<br>back, but he stopped me.  
><em>Orihime…the one who<em>

_broke_

_your heart…he's dead.  
>Ulquiorra's dead. I killed<br>him myself._ It was like  
>someone released me;<p>

free

of the shackles of terror  
>that bound me before. I<br>stared up at him in surprise.  
>"Are you sure?" I whispered.<p>

_Of_

_course,_ he whispers, _why  
>would I lie to you…? <em>Silence.  
>We stand together in the<br>rain, not minding

its

icy fingers running down  
>our backs. "Thank you,"<br>I whisper again, letting  
>the last couple of<p>

terrifying

weeks melt off of me.  
>He steps forward, and holds<br>me close. Around me, his  
>arms are a warm, safe<p>

cage.

And while I'm inside them,  
>I know that I'll be<br>protected from everything  
>that could hurt me.<p> 


	19. The End

**Chapter 19**

**T**he End

was more painful than I thought it would be.

On one hand, I had been kidnapped  
>by the very man who would later rape me<br>because he was angry that I was going to be saved.  
>That man had taken something from me<br>that I could never, ever get back.

It was sweeter than I hoped it could be.

On the other hand, I had been saved  
>by the man who would later love me<br>because…well, I'm still trying to work that one out.  
>That man had given something to me<br>that I would never get from anyone else.

It came faster than I thought possible.

A year had passed since that time  
>and it seemed like a blur of a year, filled<br>to the brim with everything I considered normal.  
>Filled with school and karate tournaments<br>and delicious food that no one else seemed to like.

It brought more changes than I expected.

More than once had I woken covered in sweat  
>from another of those recurring nightmares<br>in which _he _whispered endlessly in my ear.  
><em>I hope you enjoyed that<em>.  
>Breathed into my subconscious like a curse.<p>

It didn't only bring bad changes, though.

Through everything, Ichigo was there for me.  
>Being the sun to my moon, being the earth to my sky.<br>He helped catch me and hold me when no one else could.  
>And even when I woke from those terrifying nightmares,<br>I could tell myself that it was only a dream.

Because the end was Ichigo.

And that was the best ending any of us could hope for.

_.fin._


End file.
